Let me start by saying this: I know writing this blog post is going to cause quite a bit of controversy, so let's get this out of the way: I am intelligent, not what society deems "ghetto," and from what I am told, and given where I work in the television business, I am attractive. Other races are always seen as a trophy on the arm of a black man." He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "You don't understand the black-man struggle. I have friends of many backgrounds, and I've seen Asian women, Caucasian women and Latina women all get an attitude (mind-blowing, right? Black men are viewed as sexy and, in a sense, a 'trophy' for another race, but black women are never deemed the most attractive. It seems these women have been conditioned to think they're not worthy if they're "just black." These statements below are the most common things I hear about why black men don't like black women: "Black women have too much attitude/ghetto." Before I met my boyfriend's mother in person, she thought I was white. From the way I spoke on the phone to the way I "act," I have been dubbed the "whitest black girl" everywhere from my hometown to a city close to the Canadian border (Syracuse, get an attitude over normal things, like any woman would. Vanessa Williams (who, by the way, is fully black; people get off on thinking very attractive black women are mixed). The discussion was in response to “Why do Black athletes marry white women?
Dating trials tell us that if we removed these barriers to interracial relationships, same-race preferences in dating would ensure that interracial marriage would continue to be rare.
But when, as a black man, you start saying things such as, "I don't date black women; I don't find them attractive," I think we have an issue. As I've gotten older, I've met many men who will openly say they don't want a baby with a black woman.
Even published an article about black women being unattractive. They want a baby with "light skin or light eyes and good hair." IF.
It's becoming rare to see the reverse." This all started because I was referencing a conversation we'd had when I was pregnant with our son. You wouldn't want him to have coarse hair if you could help it. If you think I'm wrong, listen to your music and get back to me.
My boyfriend had said lightheartedly, "I hope our son has my hair." My boyfriend has beautiful, soft curls, a genetic gift from both his races. It would be easier to manage if his hair was curly was all I'm saying." The rational part of me thought about what he was trying to say, but no matter how much I replayed it, it still didn't sound right to me. Everywhere from pop culture to the hood, men are either consciously or subconsciously telling black women they aren't "wanted." I have seen black man not even look twice at black women whom I see as beautiful, yet I've seen them break their necks for decent-looking -- dare I say unattractive -- women of other races. Granted, I think everyone is entitled to a personal preference regarding whom they like.